I am about to tell you a horrible tale of woe. One fine afternoon, I went to my favorite nail lady, and got the usual: whatever crazy idea I had snatched off of Pinterest that morning. I believe the design had turquoise stones, diamonds, and glitter. It was amazing. As I thought way too deeply about what angle I would take a photo for Instagram to show my manly hands with these gorgeous nail adornments, she casually said, “Sugar, I do those lash extensions everyone is wearing now.”
Me. “The real looking fancy ones?”
Her. “Yes, exactly! I am doing them for $30.”
Me. “What position do you need me in?”
She led me to a tight space in the back of the nail salon, where there was a green leather massage table. I laid my head back, trusting her completely to take me to eyelash heaven.
Now. Let me start by saying this: I have long eyelashes already. People ask me if they are real when they catch a glimpse of them in profile. I had no darn business even doing it in the first place, let alone in a room so tiny my toes hung out the of the door, while I tried to make sensible shapes out of the ceiling mold.
It took her about 20 minutes to ruin my life. lol. She cluster glued those plastic shingles on my face with what I now think had to be hardware store quality adhesive. My lash line was burning, and the glue felt like rocks along the follicle line. I couldn’t see my face yet, but I knew when she said “done!” that I looked like something out of a 1990’s Hip Hop video, shot on a home camera, deep in the depths of the public housing building that I grew up in. I looked like a character off of Martin and I will not even say her name. You know who she is. :/
I was so embarrassed about these heavy, gaudy, hair brush bristles, that I would introduce myself to people with an explanation about them. “Hi, I’m Sugar and these are not my lashes, wanna hear a funny story about why I look like Snuffaluffagus on acid?!”
This was me. The things had a social security number.
I wore them for about three days before I desperately called a friend of a friend who I knew did lash extensions, Jaimee Cutwright from Downton Lash Co. in Frederick, Maryland. After laughing at my $30 lash cement situation, she relented to SAVE MY LIFE and hook me up with a true luxury lash extension service, which I now NEEDED because I had idiotically ripped out a great deal of my own lashes trying to free myself of those creatures.
Once again, I laid on a massage table, but this time, there was a huge light with a magnifying glass attached, and a little lash tool kit with individual HAIRS in it. It looked like a a straight up surgery was about to go down, but I trusted Jaimee. She is a real, trained lash extension specialist.
About an hour and a half later, I had a little of my mojo back. Gone were those umbrellas on my eyelids, casting their shadow of doom on my life, and when I looked in the mirror, the most natural, gorgeous lashes looked back at me. I could not even tell at all that I was wearing extensions. This time EVERY woman who got close enough to smell my breath asked if those were my lashes. I said yes. Because don’t ask people if their ish is real. lol. Just kidding. I told them about Jaimee, because I became a DIE HARD fan.
They lasted for about four weeks and one by one, they came out like I was losing facial hair slowly. No cause for concern. If you are looking for the one beauty service you simply NEED TO HAVE for your wedding, I have to say it is the individual lash installations, and I obviously recommend Jaimee with Downtown Lash Co. the investment is about $180 to $200 for the first appointment, and $80 for each filling every four weeks or so. I will be headed back out there soon to spice up my life. Knowing I am in good hands, makes it worth every dime. I will be telling all of our brides about this.
Here are some photos of her work:
This is me. Before, and after.